Here is a dude who thought that my mom’s face appearing on some lady’s toast was a gas and wanted to replicate this miracle. Diana Duyser was the first to eat my mom’s face off a grilled cheese sandwich:

“I made this sandwich 10 years ago. When I took a bite out of it, I saw a face looking up at me - it was Virgin Mary starring (sic) back at me. I was in total shock,” she explained.

Now, Mr. Eric Grillon offers another approach. Butter your toast up in the form of either me, my dad or mom and stick it in a toaster oven. Don’t even pray and out comes miracle toast!

Not.

Mr. Grillon is mocking the excruciating agony and pain that is associated with our Holy Family appearing on common comestibles. After appearing on Ms. Duyse’s toast, my mom was so wiped out that she couldn’t appear on a big bowl of broccoli or a can of Turtle Auto Wax as was fortold by the scriptures. Well, I don’t have to tell you how mad my dad gets when scripture isn’t followed to the letter - he can be a real dick!

So, Mr. Grillon, I am damming you to hell in a handbasket. You can keep the basket, but you will find out that it catches on fire because it is so hot down there. Too bad. Maybe you can make some more of your miracle toast without a toaster oven.

Here is the joke that cost Mr. Grillon eternal damnation in hell with a handbasket!